Counting Sheep
by claudiastar
Summary: Remus is used to spending sleepless nights alone, then Tonks decides to join him for one. Madness ensues including philosophical discussion, the consumption of alarming amounts of cocoa and, err, board games. Fluffy OneShot, please review


Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or the song "Bewitched" which Tonks sings in this; sadly my evil plan was foiled.

Author's note: this fic was significantly inspired by my own insomnia. It really does make you do crazy things people! I also wanted to write Remus and Dora just having fun together. Please review and tell me what you think

For Phillipa and Ceilidh, my fellow sufferers in insomnia.

"_Sleep those little slices of death, how I loathe them" _Edgar Allan Poe

Counting Sheep

The clock was ticking. A relentless pulse that beat into the vast emptiness of the night like a traveller on a lonely road. The gap between each second seemed to have elongated and distorted into an eternity. Shadows inched slowly across the bare walls of the little white walled room at number 12 Grimmauld Place, giving them a strange living texture. Nymphadora Tonks lay in bed staring dry eyed at the ceiling. It was 2.00 am, that strange nothing time when madness has a habit of creeping up undetected, and she was still, inexplicably, wide awake. Her mind had been buzzing ever since she had climbed aching and weary into bed, refusing to shut down and give her the release she craved. Why couldn't she stop thinking? True she had a lot to think about- Suspected sightings of Bellatrix Lestrange in the Blackheath area, rumours of giant activity in Yorkshire, the fact that Remus Lupin had smiled at her today…

What had her mother always told her about getting to sleep? Count sheep, recite your times tables, go over all the days' events in your head. No, she'd tried those and she was still here, a significant distance from the land of nod. Perhaps it was the fact that a late guard duty meant she was staying the night in a relatively unfamiliar bed at Grimmauld Place instead of her own in her flat. She let out a groan of frustration and rolled over burying her head in the soft cotton of her pillow, brutally trying to smother her thoughts. Sadly this proved ineffective. Suddenly she remembered something she had had once read in a book somewhere, the best way to get to sleep is not to try. She would get up and walk around a bit, get a glass of water, try to drain her excess mental energy. Stiff and yawning she slipped her legs out from underneath the heavy brown blankets and gingerly lowered her bare feet (brightened by chipped purple nail varnish) onto the smooth wooden floor. It was bitterly cold; she'd left the bloody window open again. Hugging herself and half hopping for warmth she stumbled blearily over to high backed wicker chair in the corner and pulled the grey knitted cardigan which was draped over the back of it tightly round herself.

Cautiously she opened the bedroom door and stepped out into the black abysm of the first floor corridor. It was really very dark, she had to feel her way along, groping blindly at the walls, terrified that she would crash into something at any moment. Clinging to the banister rail she padded softly down the first few steps of the flight of stairs. Sadly she was unprepared for the cardboard box someone (_Probably Fred and George, damn them_) had helpfully left right in the middle of the fifth step. She tripped and turned spectacularly head over heels, crashing noisily down the stairs and right through the kitchen door, landing in a crumpled and painful heap. "Hello Dora" said a mild, tired voice, tinged with amusement. _Damn._

888

Remus Lupin, long term insomniac, was used to spending those nights when Morpheus simply refused to show curled up in the kitchen with a cup of cocoa and a book, waiting for morning. It was lonely but he managed. He was mildly surprised therefore when a bleary eyed young witch with sleep-tousled hair, clad in baggy pyjamas fell through the kitchen door and landed with a crash at his feet. He was the more surprised as his thoughts on this particular sleepless night had been worryingly centred on the witch in question. "Hello Dora" he said, by way of cheerful greeting, struggling to stifle a bubble of laughter. A muffled swear word greeted him from the floor. Slowly she uncurled herself, rubbing her bruises and muttering obscenities under her breathe. Finally she turned to look at him, a distinctly irritated expression on her heart-shaped face. "

Do you think you could help me up, instead of standing there laughing at me" she told him acidly. Ever the chivalrous gentleman Remus offered her his hand and helped her to her feet.

"Are you alright?" he asked as she dusted herself off, slightly concerned, that had seemed like a particularly nasty fall.

"Yes, thank you" she replied in a dignified voice. She strode over to the table and sat down in the manner of a queen installing herself on her throne. Like a monarch surveying her kingdom, she looked around the room.

"What are you doing up at this time of night?" she asked curiously.

"Insomnia," he relied with a shrug as he came to sit down opposite her "what about you?"

"Same thing" she nodded in agreement "I normally sleep like a log, but for some reason tonight…" she trailed off. His smile was _very _understanding.

"I'm a regular sufferer" he told her ruefully. She gave a sympathetic wince at that. One night was enough to tell her that insomnia was highly unpleasant. Pulling her cardigan a little tighter around her against the cold she asked "I'm obviously not going to get any sleep tonight, so I might as well join you. So what do you usually do- when you can't sleep I mean?"

Giving her a kind smile that produced delicious creases round his grey eyes he said "Well I was just about to make cocoa, want some?"

"I _always_ want cocoa" she replied grinning cheekily. He laughed softly and turned to the cupboards. She watched him as worked, his confident deft movements, the rich chocolaty smell that seemed to come not just from the cocoa but from him. She sighed happily. Perhaps a sleepless night, spent with Remus Lupin, wouldn't be so bad after all.

Finally he returned to the table carrying two heavy blue and white ceramic mugs full of rich steaming cocoa. Tonks took hers and breathed in the smell for a long moment before taking her first sip. It really was very good cocoa, from the first drop she herself being warmed from the inside. A feeling of contentment began to spread through her. She smiled at Remus over the top of her mug, "Thank you very much." She said.

"Your welcome Dora" he replied politely and turned to pick up the book lying on the table which he had been reading before she came in.

"Bertrand Russell?" she commented interestedly, reading the author's name off the cover, then smiled "I should have known you were a philosopher, Remus"

That made him laugh "Yes, I do rather seem the type don't I? But I wouldn't have thought you were."

"Oh I'm not really, but my mother was. I was brought up on that stuff."

He nodded absently.

A wicked light suddenly flashed into her eyes "So, Plato or Aristotle?" she asked.

He gave her a surprised look then said slowly "Plato, I suppose"

"Thank God" she said firmly, giving him a relived smile "I've always hated Aristotle, his ideas about women were sickening for one thing. And his obsession with classification is so, so _soulless._ Now the realm of ideas, the analogy of the cave; that has poetry."

"Yes," said Remus nodding in agreement "though I'm not sure his theory of innate impressions is really valuable to modern thought. But the idea of leaders needing a love of knowledge and a love of truth, that's still true even thousands of years on"

She gave him a long thoughtful look out her dark brown eyes "So you believe that wisdom is the most important requirement for good leadership?" she asked, watching him closely.

"Yes" he replied slightly surprised by her question "Don't you?"

"No" she said, slowly, as if searching for the right words "I don't think I do."

"Then what is?" he asked, interested and curious.

She thought for a long moment before replying "Passion. A passionate belief in your cause, in yourself, a passionate love for those who follow you."

"But without wisdom, how can you make good decisions or uphold justice, protect the interests of your followers?" he asked her, a challenging expression in his grey eyes.

"Without passion, how can you inspire trust or devotion in your followers? How can you empathise with them?" she retorted glibly.

There was a very full pause, both of them looking at each other intently. Finally Remus laughed and said "It's the old head versus heart debate isn't. I can see we're never going to agree." Tonks laughed cheerfully back and took a long gulp of cocoa. It was strangely comfortable, sitting here with him and talking, even if it was the middle of night, he was very good company.

"You really believe in love, don't you?" He asked quietly, watching her. Why was it that her answer mattered so much to him, why did he wish he could spend all his sleepless nights like this?

Suddenly her expression became serious "Of course Love is, it's what keeps people fighting, even when there's no hope, and it's what makes you selfless. Love is more important than anything else in the world." Her voice trembled slightly as she spoke; she had to be sure he'd understood.

There eyes met, burning into each other. Finally a shadow crossed his face and he said with just a hint of bitterness in his voice "I wish I had your faith Dora. But I think sometimes love, even passionate love, isn't enough. Some things are stronger. "

She'd got her answer. She opened her mouth as if to speak to challenge that, then closed it again a pained look in her eyes. Then she gave him a slightly forced smile. "You are a misery guts" she told him with a reasonable attempt at her usual cheerful tone. "Are you ever less than deadly serious?"

He gave her an indignant glare by way of protest. "I am perfectly capable of being distinctly silly when I choose." He told her coolly.

Her eyebrows shot up at then and a wicked sparkle cam into her eyes. "Prove it. We have a whole night to be silly in" She said in a low voice leaning towards him with a crooked smile, every line of her body a challenge. He leant towards her in her turn, responding bravely, the sardonic expression in his eyes screaming challenge accepted. "Alright, I will" he said.

888

The labyrinthine library at no. 12 Grimmauld Place was not the most welcoming of rooms; particularly in the pitch dark at half past two in the morning (Remus had insisted on no light but wand light, he claimed it helped the mood). Yet Tonks found herself wading through the piles of books and equally large piles of dust, and actually enjoying herself. Little gurgles of laughter kept bubbling up inside as she stumbled over Remus in the dark, sneezing because of the dust and the damp. "Remind me why we are looking for a board game Remus dear." she asked sweetly giggling like a teenager. "In what way is playing a board game being silly?"

"Ah," he said mysteriously, grinning impishly "you've never played Merlin's Beard have you Dora?"

"No Remus," she told him in a sarcastic voice "I grew up in Islington. The most exciting game I ever played was magical monopoly, which is exactly like muggle monopoly except that the hotels are enchanted to have real tiny people going in and out and you got surrounded by magical bars whenever you get sent to jail."

"And as an adult?" he asked laughing.

"The occasional game of strip poker, but nothing special" she told him casually, and grinned in amusement as he burst into a convenient coughing fit.

Finally he gave a cry of triumph as he emerged covered in a thick coat of dust from under one of the book cases that loomed like grimly disapproving sentinels throughout the room clutching an extremely battered cardboard box.

"I haven't played this since I was sixteen" he said laughing happily. They fumbled their way in the dark back to the kitchen, laughing uncontrollably and clutching each other for support.

888

It was a very simple game really. You moved counters (beautiful little witches and wizards on broomsticks charmed to float a few inches above the board) along a board by means of rolling a dice. If you landed on a purple square you were obliged to answer a general knowledge question. If you landed on a green square you had to perform a dare. The penalty for answering a question incorrectly or failing to complete a dare was that an inch of thick grey beard would instantly appear on the contestants chin. The winner was the person with the most points by the time all the players had completed the board (fifty points being awarded for getting round first and ten deducted for every inch of beard.)

Tonks, after much consideration, had ruled that the game counted as definitely silly and it was now in full swing to the accompaniment of more cocoa (silliness requires sustenance after all, especially of the sugary kind).They had both become worryingly competitive, Tonks was currently leaning over the board, staring at it intently, Remus was leaning back in his chair with a superior expression on his face. Both were currently beardless, though Tonks was beginning to think that she wasn't going to stay that way long. It was her go. Picking up the little golden dice in a distinctly dashing manner she raised one eyebrow at Remus and rolled. A six. Her counter floated forward six places landing on a square of a brilliant acid green. A dare, she had no problem with those, she'd always been absolutely fearless. Remus grinning at her, selected a card from the top of the pile with a flourish and read in his best quiz master voice "Your dare for this evening Miss Tonks is to _sing a song_"

"No problem" she told him confidently jumping up from her chair and clambering onto the table, scattering counters and cards everywhere

"What are youdoing!" he called exasperatedly, choking with laughter.

"I'm performing" she told him in a grand voice throwing out her arms in wild gesture.

"Careful, you'll fall" he told her reaching out quickly as if to catch her.

She ignored him and began to sing, an old muggle song her dad had once taught her:

"_He's a fool and don't I know it,_

_But a fool can have his charms._

_I'm in love and don't I show it, _

_Like a babe in arms._

_Love's the same old sad sensation,_

_Lately I've not slept a wink. _

_Since this half pint imitation,_

_Put me on the brink._

_I'm wild again, beguiled again,_

_A simpering, whimpering child again._

_Bewitched, bothered and bewildered am I._

_I couldn't sleep, and wouldn't sleep,_

_When love came and told me I shouldn't sleep"_

She didn't have a bad voice; in fact it was quite low and sweet. However her performance would have been significantly improved if at this point in the song she had not taken an ill judged step forward and tumbled off the table onto the floor with a scream. Remus jumped up from his chair and ran to help her up. "Are you alright Dora?" he asked, concerned. They looked at each other, and then burst out laughing, gasping and clinging to each other, till eventually Tonks had to sit down on the floor to get her breathe back. At which point an inch of thick, wiry grey beard appeared on her chin looking distinctly out of place. Remus snorted and Tonks shrieked indignantly. "That's not fair! I sang."

"Ah" Remus replied knowingly "but you didn't finish the song did you. By the way I think you should keep the beard, it suits you."

This was so unlike him that for a moment she stared blinking at him. Then she lunged at him furiously, forcing him to hop out of her way, still laughing. It seemed he really could be silly after all.

888

The game continued furiously for the next couple of hours at the end of which Remus was declared the winner. Tonks accepted defeat graciously (sticking her tongue out did _not_ count as sore losing what ever Remus might say). Now they were lying heads touching on the kitchen floor, exhausted by laughter and to much sugary cocoa. They had agreed to spend future sleepless nights together, though Remus maintained that they could never be as exciting as this first one (at this point Tonks had suggested strip Merlin's Beard- which had provoked another laughing fit)

"Remus" Tonks said quietly.

"Yes Dora" he replied gently.

"Do you believe in God?" she asked seriously.

He thought for a long time the said. "I think I do. The world is too beautiful to be meaningless. I used to think that I was too alone for it to matter either way. But… maybe I'm not as alone as I thought I was"

"It does matter, and you're not alone." She told him gently. The Kitchen window was pen and blowing in a chill autumn breeze. Remus could see a patch of pale sky streaked with pink through it.

"Look Dora" he said softly "The Sun's rising, it's morning".

The only reply he recived was a gentle snore.

888

When Sirius Black went into the Kitchen for breakfast he found two people curled up on the floor fast asleep, arms around each other. Smiling he tiptoed out again closing the door behind him softly.

THE END

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